Monthly Archives: February 2010

Perang Bubat; tragedi di balik kisah cinta Gajah Mada dan Dyah Pitaloka. akhirnya saya tahu (sedikit)

“cintamu yang membabi buta itu sebenarnya hanya cinta lahiriah, hanya berupa nafsu hati yang serakah. cinta yang murni adalah membebaskan hati orang yang kita cintai dan bukan sebaliknya mengurungnya dalam kerangkeng ketidakbebasan atas nama kesetiaan.”

malam ini, status di FB gua make nih quotes, gua gag tahu mau nulis apa, seharian gua cuma mbaca buku tentang perang bubat, kadangkala pikiran gw melayang sendiri ke masalah pribadi ku, dan di novel ini sepertinya menuntun gw buat nemuin apa yang sebenarnya gw cari, karena ini blog gw, gw bisa dong nulis segala yang tak pengenin, gag peduli masalah bahasa, gag peduli nanti bakal ada yang tersinggung dengan tulisan gua, kali ini gua pengen curhat isi otak dan batin gw, udah lama gag nulis jadi pikiran ini udah waktunya di tumpahkan,

mulai dari mana gua gag tahu, tapi pikiran hati dan jiwa gua mulai bergoncang di bulan oktober 2009, sekarang udah maret, ya kira kira 5 bulan, pikiran gw terpecah, ketika itu ada skripsi, cinta, dan masalah pernikahan abang gw yang hancur,

gwa bingung, apa perlu menulis semua ini secara panjang dan melintang, yang jelas otak gw lagi penuh man, ini bermula dari keterlibatan gw untuk membantu abang gw terjerat dari pikatan wanita berjilbab tapi berhati setan, cantik, putih, pinter ngaji, tapi punya sahabat namanya setan, kata orang, barang siapa bersahabat dengan penjual parfum akan ikut wangi (lu bisa ngartikan sendiri deh)

gwa bukan orang yang pandai nulis, tapi pengen, jadi gua terusin, yang paling bikin gua bingung sebenarnya permasalahn gw sama Ima, nah nih cewek adalah pacar guwa semenjak desember 2005 sampe oktober 2009,  yah, lama juga kan? gua bingung mau curhat dimana lagi, ha9,

berikut ini deskripsi gua tentang karakter Ima, dan coba bayangin:

Setia, cantik, putih, tinggi 162, berat 48-51, manja, penyayang, perhatian, rambut hitam gag lurus lurus amat, semangat hidup dan motivasi tinggi, optimis, cerewet, ada tahi lalat di dekat bibir, benci perokok,  wah pokoknya cantik deh,

nah coba bayangin karakter gw:

kulit item, tinggi 172, 67kg, rambut jelek, banyak uban, cuek, gag suka bertele tele, gag pinter pinter amat, kadang kadang merokok di belakang Ima, di cap miring kadang kadang.

nah dari perbandingan sifat, guwwa sangat kurang di banding dia, mungkin penjelasan tetntang gua kurang begitu jelas, mau jujur sih, tapi belum waktunya, tapi ini kan blog guwa, jadi terserah gw dong mau write apapun dan kapanpun,

kembali ke Ima, sejak desember 2009, dia udah di embat orang, namanya Adr, gw gag pernah ketemu nih orang, tapi cukup dengar ceritanya udah mual, he9,

dan sekarang udah bulan maret, guwa gag tahu ini jealous atau apa, kayaknya cemburu buta,

gw jd jarang telepon Ima, jarang Sms, malah dia yang sering memulai untuk memperbaiki komunikasi paska dia jalin hubungan dengan orang yang dipanggilnya :”idiot” itu, 

sebenarnya gw pingin sih ngehubungin dulu, tapi kayaknya ego ku masih tinggi, itu alasan utama, dua; mungkin gw mau lupakannya, ketiga: aku akan melepasnya selamanya,

permasalahnnya adalah: 3 hari berturut turut ini gw mimpi dia terus,

gag tahu kenapa,… ya tuhan tulisan gua ancur,…. gapppaaopapa… nih kan blog gwa,,, to be continued.

Book REview: Say It Like Obama… by Shel Leanne (part 4)

Part fourth.. Here are som tips for Winning Hearts and Minds

• Knowing Your Audiences

• Knowing when not to enumerateemploying details effectively

• Personalizing the message

• “i” and Experience

• Connecting one to one “you and i”

Obama’s sucess demonstrates many best practices with regard to winning hearts and minds. When seeking to use communication power to sway others, it is advisable to adapt remarks to the audience, speaking meaningfully to audience member about the issue they most care about. The skilled communicator keeps things personal by leveraging personal pronoun- “I” , “You,” and “We” – to connect more closely with audience members, establishing a sense on one-to-one conversation. They talk about their own experiences to give power and authority to their words, so the listeners understan. Excellent communicators use details to show that they realize, remember and will be responsive to the needs and desires of their audiences. To be continued

Book REview: Say It Like Obama… by Shel Leanne (part 3)

Chapter three

Braking Down The Barriers

How could barrack Obama manage to break down barriers that could have served as insurmountable obstacles to many aspiring leaders?

This chapter explores specific communication practices that have enabled barack Obama to successfully tear down barriers and forge ties to many disparate groups.

Achieving Transedence

There are valuable lessons to be learned as we examine how Obama acknowledges difference but focuses on shared values, dreams, histories, and experiences; and the way he peppers hsi remarks with words that resonate, pulling from a powerful lexicon of political rhetoric, shared principles, biblical truth, and words of celebrated American icons. Below, we explore Obama’s effective communication techniques.

Acknowledging Elephant in The Room: such as using your race, funny name, etc.

Stressing Common Dreams and Values

Drawing Attention To Shared History

Illuminating Share Experience

Employing Words That Resonate

  • The Historical and Political Lexicon
  • Biblical Truth

Leveraging Other People Words

Whar We’ve Learned- Practices for breaking down Barriers

Leaders have much to learn from the way barack Obama breaks down barriers and establishes common ground among diverse sets of people. Obama has shown he can transcend traditional division of race, ethnicity, age, gender, religion and religion. He is adept at uniting disparate people, building camaradie and establishing a sense of shared goals. To do this, we have seen the importance of acknowledging “elephants in the room.” Acknowledging potential issues of discomfort helps to ease tension and enables leaders to re-focus attention on areas of common ground. Leaders should seek to forthright in acknowledging areas of potential discomfort early on and with forthrightness, and should proceed to focus away from source of division toward sources of commonalities. The aim is to recast the dialogue, steering attention in ways that promote a sense that listeners are on the sam team, striving for same aim. When illuminating common ground, its helpful to reference common history, common values and common experiences. It also best  a best practices to employ words that resonate. –well-chosen words reflecting time-tested principles, socio-political values, biblical truth or a cherished lexicon of political rhetoric.

To be continued

Book REview: Say It Like Obama… by Shel Leanne (part 2)

Earning trust and confidence…

This is 2nd episode of my book’s review, Say It like Obama.

“If you aspire to be a highly effective leader, people must trust your judgement and ethics and have confidence in your leadership abilities, believing that you are worthy of authority. In the absence of trust and confidence, nothing else follows.”

Obama has drawn on his trust and confidence to capture key oportunities and expand his influence. Key communication practices have aided obama in his quest. Using communication as a tool for gaining support, obama has displayed great personal charisma.

Charisma of a Leader

Most people say they know charisma when they see it- that certain fire in the eyes, passion, and command. The words often invoked to describe Obama- magnetic, elctrifying, energizing, and inspiring – speak his charisma as a leader. Obama has a presentation and style that enable him to earn the confidence of listeners, inspire them, and move them to action. He conveys charisma through many nonverbal attributes – the bright, broad smile; the confident sparkle in the eyes; his resonate voice; and body movements suggesting authority. Barac Obama has developed a formidable ability to establish a great first impression.

Creating Strong first impression

A first impression is a critical defining moment. The instant one person first moves into presence of another, an opinion is formed. Even before you utter any words, you open dialogue and have spoken volumes through image and body language.

Barack Obama is adept at establishing strong first impressions. The purposeful walk. The visual contact he makes with audiences early on, stretching his arm to them in a confident wave, narrowing the physical distance between himself and the audience. Good eye contact also been valuable to Obama. As Obama talks, he look to one side of the room, sometimes with a slight nod of acknowledgement in that direction, and the to the other side. Audience perceive this as respectful- the behavior of a person welcoming them. They also interpret the actions as trustworthy- the behavior of a person willing to look them in eyes. Those good first impression last.

Outstanding communicators take care the use of image and body language in ways that wield a highly positive impact.

Leveraging Second Impression

Another importantmeans of earning trust and confidence can be seen through effective use of voice and intonation. Both are important tools for increasing effectiveness of communication.

Voice

One dimension of voice that creates an immediate impression is the quality of the voice- its natural pitch and resonance. Obama has pleasing sounds to the ears and is very very athoritative. For most speakers, natural tone quality can be improved and enhanced with practice and voice techniques. There are multiple dimensions of the verbal communication beyond the words actually  spoken. The tools of the skillful speaker include vulume, voice texture, pitch, pace, and inflection.

Amplification

The power of amplifying voice at key moments. Obama use volume to increase excitement as auduence rallies to his opinions. He knows how to stress important words at the right times, giving them emphatic feel. Barack Obama uses volume to enhance the efficacy of his delivery.

Pacing an Pregnant Pauses.

Obama’s outstanding use of pacing also greatly  enhances the effectiveness of his communication. With well-choosen pacing, he slows when enunciating importants ideas he wants to settle into psyches of the listeners.  Obama is also adept a leveraging silence and employing pregnant pauses. With pregnant pauses, obama focuses attention on his most important themes, making his remarks more notable.

Pitch and Emotional Texture

Obama skillfully employs his delivery techniques. He has made an art of varying his volume and vocal color. The range of inflection he uses- changes in the pitch of his voice- is also one of his strength.  Taken together, voice and intonation – emphasizing words at the right time, quickening or slowing the cadence, varying the tonal color, varying rhythim of words- can result superior communication power.

Using Effective Gestures

Obama’s power as orator helps illustrate that gestures can improve the impact of communication in multiple ways. For one, when used well, gesture create an impression that a speaker is at ease and relating well with the audience. The use of gestures can also create the sense that the speaker is deeply investe in a topic and earnest in their desire to get others to see the points. Additionally, effective gestures make speech more lively, engaging and memorable. The precision of certain gestures enhances the descriptive content of oration and underscores key ideas, increasing the potency of spoken words.

Maximizing Props

The role of props in creating impression should not be overlooked. Strong communicators remember the importance of props and staging in sending sub-messages that reinforce key themes.additionally, exceptional communicators take oportunities to convey their strong ethics, deepening a basis for trust and confidence that can bring benefits well into the future.

To be continued ….

Book REview: Say It Like Obama… by Shel Leanne (part 1)

Hey, it has been long time for me not to write a review about a book, recently, i read an exceptional book entitled “Say It Like Obama”. Frankly, now i still learning to improve my public speaking and interpersonal skills through focusing on my communications intencity with many groups as possible, thats why, while i am waiting for my undergraduate graduations at march 21 2010 in Sasana Budaya at Malang State University.

Lets go forward, why i want to share the content of this alluring book, Obama is the first president of US, he had exceptional result on US elections through Democratic Party in 2008. He is the first coloured skin President who leads US. Here are some tips and trick how Obama utilized his communications and interpersonal skills to gain public attention and affluence.

Effective body language and voice.

Establishing Common Ground

Obama demonstrated his talent as he effortlessly transitioned from discussing biblical truths and linking them these truths to what he believes, creating the sense of strong continuum. With these techniques, Obama successfully broke down barriers and built bridges.

Speaking Audience Concerns: Winning The Heart and Minds.

Obama demonstrated his ability to tap into the prevailing mood, strengthtening the impact of his word by providing details and personalizing his message. He won people by speaking to them directly, almost intimately, and illustrating that their concern were his concern too.

Conveying Vision Through Personalization and Words that Resonate.

Obama employed a wide range of techniques to convey his vision. Vivid language, sybolic words, and personalized ideas were among his tools. His language painted pictures in the minds of listeners. He tied the notion of hope to the experiences of slaves and immigrants and personalize the issue of Iraq War through reference to one particular soldier.

Driving Points Home

Obama also employed an effective range of rhetorical techniques as he drove his central point home. Repetion was primary tool. His repeated references to hope, with carefully constructed sentence structures, underscored theme. Obama’s skillful use of repetition focused attention on key themes, making them more memorable.

Excellent Pesuasion Techniques.

His use of juxtaposition also crystallized the argument that Americans are one people and should move forward with unity: “There’s not liberal America and Conservative America – There’s United States of America.”

Building to a Crescendo an leaving a Strong Last Impession

Obama skillfully varied the rhythim of his words, emphasizing words at key times and amplifying his voice progressively as he built toward a crescendo. He knew how to ride the wave of applause so as not to stall momentum.

Together, these Highly effective communications practices enabled Obama to deliver a masterful speech that greatly accelerated the trajectory of his political career and transformed him into an influential national political figure.

To be continued….

Jya…Genki de.. letter of confession to my Divine God. ALLAH.. i want You to forgive me

tonight, i felt so sad.

i felt so lonely.

the girl whom i loved, leave me alone.

while she had decided to get the new one’s.

i dont know what am i thinking of, until i encouraging my self to write this kind of emotional letter to this blog. i just learnt about “hiding dont fix anything” , a quote from a funny J-Drama. it was making me understood that i’ve hide a lot of things with everyone near me…within my circumference..

while i always

i dont know where i have to start my stories. but it might be a good starting point for me, to change my habbit for being introvert person. i am not introvert actually, but only about my love and family in particular.

i dont know, what am i thinking of, until i writing my sad stories in my blog. but my situations right now was very fragile. i never thought that this kind of “mellow” activity would be started by me.

but this is me, the real Tan-Tular.

since i read a lot of Anand Krishna Books during this month, i realize the importance of love and beloved by the others.

and why.. when i’ve started to learn how to love better, by using my real feeling.. the KARMA …visits me…

why, when i really need her love, she decided to make a relationship with another guy.. and told me that all the things she’ve done in order to make a revenge…about the scandal that i’ve done in the early 2008 with unknown woman from brawijaya medical faculty,

i dont want to open my past bad experience, but let me tell the real and might be funny for all of us,

2 years ago, i lied to a girl, and hurt her. in doing so, i lost everything. it was only afterwards that i realized how much she meant to me.

i am regret it now…

To Be Continued.. i am so hungry..i have to eat to be more precisely arrange words

wow.. today is february 13th,,, now i being in Pare, to learn english, maybe its kind of runaway, or learning proccess?

now this is the fourth months she leaved me, with him. i dont understand why..it seems uneasy for me to forget all of my experiences with her during our four consecutive years relationship. 🙂

i tryna understands… that this is the real feeling, i never felt like this.. this is love.. probably…..

but, time must go on, and i gradually erase…format….destroy.. all of my beautiful memories with her.

i have to be a tough guy,… i am still young..21 years old, energetic…passionate… smart ( i hope), i will prove to her that i will find a better woman… not a better girl… more sophisticated woman..not a sophisticated girl…

only my close friends knew how much i always thinking about her… how much i had devoted my pure love to her.. i knew that means nothing now… i already knew that there’s no intention by her to make the relationship better..eventhough we’ve separated by destiny…

i just wishing to the God, that she will always beloved by someone who really loves her…

and also i will pray for myself… to make my life even better than before… even brighter than before… and even smarter than before…

i hope when i write this letter.. being a churning point of my life.. to realize that i still have much time to do something more beneficial for me..rather than just thinking about my relationship with her…

i will respect her forever,