emmotional diary – leaving Malang … :(

finally, after a month unable to write because of my traffic schedule to find an app job, i have a spare time to write something for my lovely blog. now my topic is about my historical journey while i spent almost 4 years  to be a college student in mediocre university and reputable university in the next following 5 years.

there were a lot of sad and happy story in here, I met many lovely friends such as Quman members (Lutvi, Doni, Bill, Nanik (she’s my girfriend though), Astrid, reny, Zakka, Immanuel, bos Ucup, Pras, Om dovi, dedy o kontor, hikmah, and some other friends who dont have intense relationship with me. and also I met Gagok, Bogel, Dika, Alfan, Roka, and many others my KKN friends such as Getta, Kholik, marukolumud, ameliaayu, santy, and many others.. huwah,,, i  unable to list many of them in here. but they’ve already contributed to my self development.

but my life must go on, i realized that my decision to leave this city solely for satisfy my thirst about a real life which i’ve been admiring since i was 18, a moment where i have to continue find a right place to widen my perspective about what is the true meaning of my life short trip on the earth.

you know, my intention to pursue master graduate in brawijaya just canceled, because of my brother told me that if my decision to continue study just merely a runaway from my real task; to show him that i able to live my own life, although I’ve already fullfilled all of the reqirements from TPA, TOEFL, and references, but his statement had shaked my mind, probably his statement was true, since it has been 3 months after my graduation, i still unable to get an appropriate job for me; eventhough i’ve also rejected some of jobs offering from some companies because they asked me to be relocated in Malang and the contract stipulates not to allow me to continue my study during my contract periods. what a insane contract, I thought.

now, I prepared to move to other city, a BIG city, An Ocean… a place which requires my ability to survive and strugle to find something that i’ve been searching for a long time; Batavia. I dont know and i also unable to predict that i gonna be a succesfull warrior over there, but I just wanted to follow my ambitions though.

sometimes, I think my decision seems to be so egoistic, since i also have a girlfriend whom i think that she is the one who able to understand my way of thinking, but I also have to pursue my dream then, it also doesnt mean that to be with her is not one of my dream, but according to Dalai Lama’s thought about “detachment” which means that we have to be able to let someone go because it is the way of destiny. I believe that if she is the one for me in the future, we will be together then.

actually, my dreams are to be an annalyst, especially in economic in general and political marketing and economic in particular, and the appropriate site to get all of it is to be nearby of the center of this nation.

oh my God, as the closing statement from my bewildering story, i just wanted You to give me a chance to compete in that Ocean. I knew You will be listening to every little things of my expectations. Ya Allah…berikan aku kemudahan untuk menjalani keputusanku ini, meskipun keluargaku belum mengetahuinya hingga tulisan ini kubuat.


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