it has been around 4 years, i’ve be hanging around Jakarta. i divided my 4 years experiences into:
4. going further
Jakarta, could be the best city for me, even sometimes money issue can be a big deal; especially for satisfy my anxiety on what the hell happening in this town. i do routinely write on my journal, a pocket book of mine that i always bring anywhere i go.
i used to be a stranger who cant find where the place i fit, and i learning to adapt on what habit that i must change in order to be accepted. but it so intriguing me since it force me to be a new kind of human. pathway, is my journey last year on focusing on explore all popular yet unpopular place in jakarta. and going further is a quest on my wit, that is it the end of my journey? is it the place that i will end up until the end of my age?
i do believe that i have so many dreams ambitions to achieve. i’ve been in Surabaya, semarang, Ubud, Bandung, and i still considering jakarta is the best fit for me, i never been abroad before, except Hongkong, and i just wondering if i could go more far away.
this semester, i considered a project, called GO-EAST. after found my instagram Map, stipulates that i never been in sulawesi. i also dont have diving license to make me able to dive deep ocean to find joy that not so many people able to see. i always like to try something new, that i called my self a lone adventurer. i love to go somewhere, and enjoy those places alone.
it also a problem, for me, a question of how long i must be alone? whilst i always praying for someone i trust to be with me, is it true that i blindly close my heart to my past? its a disaster since i unable to found clearly, what kind of person i am pursuing. even during late 4 years, i met some woman i put my interest on, but feeling blurred after frequent journey.
i think i must be able to accept my condition, whilst reduce the perfection i desired. i do believe that i have so much flaws, awaited to be opened. by chance and time.
i still focus on my study, i still focus on collecting money, and make new friends. but i hope this semester i will find a happiness that i am longing. while i gratitude to Lord for his blessing by give me chances to met so many interesting people, and woman.
i am sagitarius, they said i am unfaithful.
i believed that life is a combination of small progress, progress to achieve the big ambition. and in my brain now, have a BIG mission, and thats why i put Accelerate as a tittle. i little bored with small progress. i need a quick one. this is a letter; unedited, and i hope its also a prayer.
coffewar, july 19 2014. 11:30 pm.