this week totally wrecked on health. and yesterday i gotta see the doctor, for making sure my condition quite fine enough. and she said that i was fine. but she put focus on my “amandel” thing, which considered troubled my respiration.
and she explained about the symptoms of this syndrom. that in the night i’ll get woke up in the mids of my sleep, and this is quite clear that i thought during my whole life,i always felt this condition. and i thought it was due to Ghost attack, something in javanese called “tindihen” , where you felt that u cant breath and u see a ghost right in front of your eyes, tryna to kill you.
oh, okey, then she recommend me to see THT doctor, which i considered never done before, but, i’ll gonna make though, but i dont know when.
lately, i still focusing on how to make my life more neat and i can do things efficiently, regarding to my opinion, my life seem lost its focus. probably due to my party Up project i’ve made since july 2012 till present. i felt struck when i cant go out in the friday or saturday night.
i think i gotta fixed this things up. i knew i can make something bigger than just having some kinda hanky penky, and this morning, i just cut all of my credit card bill since 2012-2013, almost fueling my dustbin, and i cut it through into pieces, and i read many of the bill are contained club name. oh hell, that’s all of the money i invested on learning about drinks, nightlife, and wine lately, seems to much, and probably i could use it for another occasion from now on.
i am not regret on what i did, this is part of my learning circle. 24-25 is an age where i Must Know all of happiness that youth having. and the next step, i should be more put my concern on health and my financial stability.
october 20, actually was my father day, he passed away on 2008. it was 5 years passed. probably, this is one of out last photo, together,
i dont have any gift for my father, 1 think i didnt do that i was not praying that day to him, i felt guilt of that. so as my apologies, i wanted to share values that my father told me:
1. be simple, “sederhana”
2. humble “baik ke orang”
3. never use drugs “jangan pake narkoba”
i believed that in 3rd point i never have involved on that. 1 thing i tryna strenghten is my father ability to easily talk with people humbly, and you know, my father have only 2 hobby:
thats what he do, while his 25 career working for Pelni, as a cashier. on weekend thats all he do. now when i am in a position, as a working class also, i can felt what my father feels. meeting family on weekend must be a heaven, and what i did was, during his late life, i rarely return home on weekend, haha; i am sorry.
i started my running project on May, i never think about it before, but while i run, i felt my body like enjoy it so much. probably its already inherit on my Gene, that my father and i like running.
next is tennis, i already have the racket from my father, and my boss said tennis also trained us to swing in golf course easily. hmmm, seems nice to do,
i hope November (rain), will make me have more focus. concentration. and wishfully affection (new). haha. its been long time since i decided to broke up with my ex.
|i hope she’s happy out there. since i seems happy too in here. during my early marticulation class in PMBS, i thought i also cant easily concentrate. i must learn to make it easier to focus,|
|semoga bapak selalu happy. and i hope i can make you happy there, both. the only thing i can do, is praying. and wishing that you’all happy. i knew my deeds in here brutally cant be tolerated by you, like i said, this is my 24-25 trip. in a galaxy night where i cant felt happiness and then boredom. and i hope its enough for me. enough for investing on the night, i’ll do more proper thing from now on.|
|tomorrow i will join jakarta marathon, actually i wish for 22k, but seems my health cant make it through, wishing tomorrow cough will gone.|
|Bless Me Up.|
|Oct 26 2013|