It was intriguing question from my friend, on the MTR during our diner plan with other Indonesian in HK, when you first time smoking? it was a long long time ago. I grew up in Bangil, (which recently became capital of Pasuruan regency). I was not quite sure, when i started to smoke. My father caught me red handed for smoking when i was 6th grade at elementary school, he was so angry on me, i didn’t remember what my mother said at the time, i just remember she started to get sick, caused by breast cancer. My Father said i need to avoid my friend, who live nearby my home.

in Bangil, it is common for kids to smoke, its not easy to be accepted by friends at the neighborhood, if you not smoke. i remember that i always become the younger in the gang. but i believe that environment is completely influenced my thought when i was young. we were in same elementary school (it is called SDN inpres: a school created by presidential deed with very limited facilities), same Majelis Taklim ( where youth asked by parent to read Quran and listen to priest from 6-7 PM), and same place to hang out. so those friend i think really affects me. I was not too close to my brothers, my father worked in Surabaya, and my mother frequently go travel for business.

We usually smoking at Bangil Station, it was 2 km from my home, i think it was also because of my friend, Gorgom, his father (RIP) was worked as machinist, he got frequent discount for a trip. i think some brands that we smoke at that time was SuketTeki, Pentung, and Djarum 76.  where i realized now that cigarettes for Cycle Rickshaw driver. the most expensive and coolest cigarette we had was Kansas, Mustang, Pallmall, and Gudang Garam. where 2 other brands has not available in market.

Gudang Garam, is always reminds me of a great memory, since we were like to go to Train Station, we sometimes smuggled our self into Train, to go to Porong, it might be 20 minutes by train. we never bought ticket. we always pay the train conductor over the train. we paid IDR 500 per person (the normal ticket was 2.500). its very affordable for child whom his parent allocate 1000-2000 per day as school pocket money.

Before leaving to Porong, me and Gorgom (my senior, he was 1 year above me), we jointly bought Gudang Garam, only 1 cigarette. and he ask me to keep it into my pocket. When we arrived, it torn into two pieces. he bullied me. and made me cry. Porong Market, its not  a big, but by the time, i really stuck into Oil Snake Sales. i can sit for 30 minutes only for listening to his stories and his trip from place to place. and my friends left me, and i really rushed and scared, i really afraid that i cannot going back home. and thats my last trip to porong with Gorgom and some of my friend which i can not remember, seems my memory has erased itself , we never hang out again since then. Gorgom went into different school. I went to SMPN 2, he went to SMPN 3.

in junior high school, for 3 years period, i think i don’t met interesting friend at the time, most of my friends were focus on studying, the only thing that i remembered is my Biology teacher was so beautiful, my math teacher so clever, and my english teacher is kind. My Father sent me to the school because my aunt working there, so she can keep an eye on me while he is working.

There are 3 state junior high schools in Bangil.

1. SMPN 1 is where the coolest and smartest guys go
2. SMPN 2, is don’t have identity, but in between. famous for its discipline values and outdoor activities
3. SMPN 3, is where the bad guy goes.

I think in my junior high school, i am not quite find friends that interest me to hang out with, i just focused on learning, no smoking influence.

in High School, i went to SMAN 1, this is the only State High School in Bangil. wherein only selected few are eligible to attend. I really admired this school, since SMPN 2 is right in front of SMAN 1. I think this is a place where i really feel that i met my friends.

The composition usually:

1. 60% from SMPN 1
2. 10% from SMPN 2
3. 5% from SMPN 3, the rest from other private school.

i didn’t meant that i had wrong friend but i believed all my friend are the bad boys of SMPN 1, they are bad but they do very smart. so, this makes me really happy, and that moment i started to smoke again. now the brand is different, A Mild, Marlboro, and LA, became our favorite brand. unfortunately, during my 1st grade, 3 of my friends who usually smoking with me, was unable to continue their study. they were dropped out. only me and Jambrong Survived. Jambrong is a football athlete for Gempol District, he is very famous, but we usually smoke together.

I knew my childhood probably an embarasing story, even the topic is about cigarettes, but i think its part of my endeavor to find out the root from what i did, and what i should do better in the future. but, i do really believe on how environment really shaped my thought, my mindset, and make me survived.

I back again here in the city that I lived since 2006 to 2010. At the Tugu hotel that I admired yet curious about what inside it includes several places that are part of this hotel group. Hence in Jakarta, I always invited my friends, especially from overseas to visit Tugu Kunstring in Menteng. I also visited Shanghai Blue 1920, but the place was too dark. I mesmerized by many historical, relic or artifact about ancient Chinese history in Java, and the founder ancestor which is a prominent figure and a tycoon of Sugar in Semarang.  

I took a leave and tinkering of what I must get done and do better for 2021, yet remain vigilant since the pandemic is not over yet. Hence today I intentionally visit Tugu to live up with this plan for improvement based on lesson I learned during 2020.

2020 was so quick. Most of my time being used to work. I don’t even have time to enjoy my weekend for holiday though I watched some prominent Netflix film such as The Black List and House of Cards. But providing a moment to reflection and repose, I think is pivotal to pave my way for better future with planning ahead. I always reminisced my ex-boss statement “planning is a flexibility”. Now I think it can be called agility or i called skill versatility, to be adaptable in any situation and task that are never been assigned before. I think, Agility requires planning and doing scrum to evaluate it continuously and Kanban to identify continuous task precipitously are imperative to achieve goals.

2019 was about learning protocol. On how to serve luminaries across the companies, arranging seating plan, created an event both for celebration and social, and coordination of offline activities. But 2020 is different. It bring me up in to different altitude. Money is never become my motivation; though I need it to make my life easier and happier.

I must be grateful of what I got and achieved in 2020, though pandemic has made several projects halts, but I learned several new skills, perhaps new experiences and work alongside with expatriate direct report. It is an experience that perhaps not all people can have it and its also my dream. The bad things is I am smoking again, heavily and drinks more; despite my knowledge also increase in type of Whiskey, Vodka, Gin and Wines.

Skills is something that I can master, but digital product management, employee interviews, financial modelling, brand development, car industry understanding and becoming secretary are new experiences that has shaped my 2020. Somehow, I felt imbecile of those new things due to my inept and clumsiness. I am writing 2020 transcribing stories chronologically as a tread or bedrock to help me improve for impending assignments in 2021 that will be more challenging and posses predicaments that can be solved with mastery of several skills that I have been learning in 2020. Especially with burgeoning development of technologies that shift from a traditional company to become a digital company and acrimonious competition among companies in the industry.

Product Development and Management.

Digital product is a new thing for me, previously I thought I would only be a marketing expert or a consultant, but this kind of work is I believed a competency that a must have for a professional. Not only relationship but capability to plan scrupulously and execute it on time. In digital product, though my knowledge still banal, i think requires several steps:

1. Design thinking is a process to generate ideas from a working group, and it as more than 40 people from 8 companies and collaborate to create a unique value proposition design, business model and customer journey. Continued with deep interviews and external research to generate an insight for customer journey desired by the user. Then the wireframe and UI -UX created in Invision to describe the journey clearly to all working team and must generate a user acceptance testing. After it approved then the journey being developed

2. Product Development, this requires consistency, product owner, will do daily stand up to identify all bottlenecks to execute the project. Tools being used is JIRA, a project management tools. Me also still learning to use this tools. But it’s a tools to help developer and project owner to track its Epic, stories and task and subtask to make a burndown chart hence management can track project’s progress weekly. During development also have Sprint, I had to use weekly sprint to track activities for 5 days. Within a product, also brand development. Brand for corporate and digital product is different. I was grateful that 2020 I led the brand development since the beginning until closure. And found out today that I provided value added to the company since I got a very good price as a result of meticulous negotiation with its managing director. Brand is very important to support all marketing activities, from brand strategy, visualization and application. Even it also need to be backed by several expert to ascertain the brand do not bring a bad luck. IT also does importance role, I think API, integration, pen test, unit test, are new terms that I learned during the product development process. Strong 3^rd parties partners are also imperative, I was grateful to work alongside with top partner from UI-UX development, brand development, though I am not involved directly to the developer, at least now I know the role of developer.

3. User Acceptance Testing or UAT, this is when the product already developed and needs to get approval from the user. More than 7 entities needs to approved the UAT. In this phase, biggest learnings are the requirement must be fixed at the early of the project to ascertain deliveries according to the plan. The pitfall was I did not ask the product manager to went alongside me to ask the requirement with the other entities.

4. Listing at IoS and Android, this state is when the product and UAT already done. To enlist it needs to register the company to Google and Apple. Hence legal entity is required to make it happen. Though I am not involved in the entity creation but it was also my first time to deal with legal advisor that have hourly tariff. In the future I will involve compliance and legal ahead of the project execution.

5. Financial Modelling. I only learned about it during my master graduate, but I think this time I implement it finally, with support of my team that I recruited. Having a talented team and have expertise in finance to support is imperative. Though the model always evolving, but the concept of discounted cashflow is implemented to assure the project could generate expected cashflow to fund its operation. Numbers are always a struggling subject for me. But I status quo or existing skills wont bring me to my expected terrain. I always admired top consultant, venture capitalist, and private equity professional that are able to deliver this kind of modelling, though I still not confidence with the skill, I believed doing is the best way to learn. I wish can be an expert of this matters. Hence I can make myself have a well rounded skills about management, in financial perspective.

6.Digital Marketing.

Coordination and alignment. When the team was small, its ok to execute things fast. But the bigger organization, coordination is getting more important. Especially with those new to the company. I think this year I dealt with many new colleagues that I never been working along with. Need time to build relationship. But in my opinion humility, mutual respect and commitment always key factor to got support from others.

Deeper Car Industry Knowledge

I never know about car industry. But the project I involved for both new car and used car has exposed me to several information, networks and knowledge about it. Though in 2018- 2019, I exposed to several events for automotive, but 2020 has helped me deeper to understand it more, from increase networks to car manufacturers and dealerships, how it financial services operates and how the customers changing its behaviour during pandemic.

I also works alongside with worlds top consulting firm to develop a concept, though it was a confidential project, but I learned several working methods that sharpening my product development experience and enthralling me to always improve my capabilities. It is a palatial to have this opportunity. Such as Analysis that forced me to understand data about car industry for several years including types of car by brand. using tools such as Trello as a Kanban Board and do daily stand up to track progress. Using Notion that became a repository to track all interviews, research, presentation and Idea, using MIRO to create customer journey, deep interview with automotive and financial services experts, how to update Board of directors and role of alignment to all stakeholders prior to update to top management as a gesture to appreciate the senior management and to address key concerns, until coordinating scheduling with all directors and general managers across the companies. This experience has brings me to connect the dots with many industry experts that I never work with and these venerable people are sharp and analytical. Things that I like is because its always use English. Skills that I always wanted to master. Things that I will do better in the future are since the project has a time constraint, I must be well prepare for scheduling, I was so terrified with plenty coordination, though I successfully made it happen, but most of time the confirmation was last minute and required begging to other people. I am grateful on those precarious time, all can be delivered with power of praying and relationship that I built in previous projects.

Other than that, the supporting documentation also imperative. Since the project is huge, legal documentation is pivotal. And there were lots of hiccups from Non Disclosure Agreement, contract documents that using several countries jurisdiction and payment that requires different taxation. Things that I will do better in the future are as early as possible to get the legal document clearance, assure the payment to agreed for foreign exchange date and the source, assure entities to be used to avoid regulatory complexities, identify any taxation issues.

For last 2 months I also assigned as product owner in car sector that I do not know, I think it also a good sign that the leaders entrusted me but this is really making me nervous. This role has been forcing me to learn deeper about using JIRA and create a story point. Also forced me to learn deeper about APIs that usually I believed its role of IT. But I think the challenge is important for my growth. I must be able to master role as product owner.

Middle Management Program

This program intended to make a middle manager become more effective. And since early 2020 I have been interviewing many people, 3 already recruited by me as of now, 1 already rotated to other department. I have 2 more will be joining me in early 2021. But for sure I only recruited mostly those had studied overseas. I believe international exposure will made them succeed in the digital working environment and for my self I could also being supported by the team diverse perspective.

Recruit best talents though it hard to find. I tend to recruit young talents that will strengthen my weakness, such as in accounting, statistics, and have experience in new fields that I am not yet familiar with. With these formula I hope can helped me out to face challenges to come.

Since I already have team, managerial and leadership skills now become an important competency that I got. Though I got several pitfalls during managing my team, such as I was not easy to be contacted due to my involvement in several projects that requires my time, my tendencies to work alone in closed door in a meeting room and my boss said I did not listen up to my team, I believed those feedbacks are a good foundation for me to improve further. I did several changes in methodology to serve the team, from previously I only do weekly update, since last 1 month, I started to schedule daily stand up at 08:30 AM, both serve me to arrive at office on time and assure the team activities during the day will deliver result, sometimes I also checked in the evening at 5 PM. Those kind of controls are new for me, I don’t like daily control but perhaps this also forced me to have daily result for what I’ve been doing.

Leadership is also about influence, perhaps coaxing other function or entities to have willingness to collaborate with initiatives that spearheaded or presided by me. The role requires me to plan ahead, take initiative and control. It reminisced me the role of management, Planning, Organizing, Actuating and Coordinating (POAC), a classic term by George Kelly that I got from classic management book in my undergraduate. Seems that I only know the theory but lack of practice. Hence I must do more execution than thinking. Like my boss said, your role is not only thinking, but doing. I think that phrase was so hook at face for me to execute things well and become an example for my team.

Relationship also important to be able to execute well. I’ve been grateful of additional networks that I build, virtually in 2020 and has helped me to ease my task. Though not all relation that I build leads to better result, I also faced some plaguing relationship that hinder and gnaw my jobs to get done. For now, I am taking position to let it happen. But I believe, if I do my role correctly, the attitude and behaviour will helps me to get out the mud faster. But this 1% impediment has been weakening me and reducing my effectivity. I still figuring out the most eloquent way to solve it, my only panacea is patient or being steadfast though somehow these are disdain to what I’ve been working on. But I starting to realize that I must do something or my life could be languished, mired and bogged. Capability to control my upheaval is imperative, but seems it is in a critical and perilous point that need to be turned around. Though those kind of animus I had before, but this time might be need different methodology. Despite my tenet is to have mutual respect and everyone is serve greater good for company.

During feedback this year I got from my superior, I need to improve my analytical skills. He also exhorting me to learn from my colleague that posing better capability for analytics. While in development program I need to improve on Business Sense and Judgement. Hence those things are being my focus for development in 2021. I like being competitive and improve. And to be able to make it happen, I need to have better focus. That I have been learning from running and now cycling. Being focus to reach finish line and accomplish it effectively and efficiently. For improving business sense, I must read more books and planning it, and I think this blog always helping me to sharpening and contemplating those capabilities. To not being distracted for hours.  It is always tantalizing to use time for social media and any other distraction. But 2021 is years of focus, analytical, execution, ceaselessly improving and avoid complacencies.

Melati Restaurant, Tugu Hotel

“All I Want For Christmas Is You” by Mariah Carey

I never interested about bicycle before, but listen up to Azrul Ananda’s and Johny Rey Podcast, have been making me curious about this sport. their stories and enthusiasm of it has tremendously affecting me, I watched all youtube video and podcast, I really like the way it is narrated, described, and because they are truly exciting story teller.

Bicycle is an endurance sport, similar like run or trail run. I decided to purchase a gravel bike with GRX group set that align with my spirit of doing endurance sports. I always have dream to go to many places with running, but by using bike it can be faster, longer and requires many technical skills that i barely know last month.

For last 2 weeks I have been cycling in Jakarta and East Java, yesterday I was riding to Bromo. It was a fiasco, I woke at 2 AM and started it at 4:30 AM, Google Map has estimated only 58 KMs, assuming that my speed is 20 KM/hour I could reach Bromo within 3-4 hours. And I decided to go for avoid main road alone. At first 30 KM was easy, but last 10 KM the road was an up hill and so serene. At the beginning I was so excited, but some people said to me when I passed them by, are you alone? I stopped at a stall to buy mineral water and she said the road is damaged. I kept riding and it was down hill, never before I had downhill road at speed of 40KM/H. the road was not a gravel, but stones or macadam. I was so scared and unable to stabilize the bike and finally I crashed and hit a tree. My bike saddle was wedged into it and my body over thrown for 2 meters, my glasses tumbled and fortunately my helmed was working when It happen.

5 minutes later local people realized that there was a bike and somebody has crashed. They helped me to find my glasses which my eyes couldn’t see. And I felt grateful I am still alive, though several bruises in my face, arms, thigh, chest, and back. My bike looks ok though, but the back tyre got punctured. I asked them nearby repair shop, but seems away from the location.

3 minutes later someday stopped and he offered me to bring along my bike to repair shop, and it was 5 KM from the location.  His name was Muhammad, his job is selling Durian. That think I only knew, I just went away after I arrived in a store to purchase an inner tube that have valve Schrader but I only understood it was a wrong type, since my tyre valve was Presta type. Then I went to nearest tyre repair workshop and luckily it provides pump that support it. I also bring multifunction key to repair it, since it requires L keys.

 Then I rode the bike for next 30 KM and finally arrived home from 10AM to 11:30 AM. I felt grateful that I was survived, accomplished total 70 KM, and arrive safely, but it is a lesson learned from me:

1. Avoid to ride alone for uncharted road (but I keen on doing it since I like to do sports alone). But it is a lesson learned for me to find a nearby community in any city I live.

2. Prepare inner tube anywhere you go, not all bike store have Presta type and pump converter. At least have a tool for tyre repairs.

3. Check your tyre before ride for long trip. I was so worry that my tyre, especially front tyre, but I just kept going on. Sometimes gut feeling can be a good sign that I must check the pump. My fault was I barely know how to pump with the Presta valve.

4. Prepare for 2 bottles of water. I was so scared that I would be dehydrated. In non main road, very difficult to get a stall. I drink each 10KM.

5. Prepare a front lamp, since if riding in the morning, the road was so dark, especially if started at 4 AM.

6. Pray and bring along snack. I prefer to bring along Snickers. It can stands for 20KM per bar. Handy and delicious.

7. Buy a good BOB short. I once bought 200K paddled short and 400K BIB short, it was so different, the second was so endured during the ride.

8. Use a long sleeve Jacket or wind shield and use UV sunscreen. Wind in east Java is so strong, also above 10 AM the sun heat was so hot, made me felt dehydrated and has low energy.

I would share more tips for cycling in the future, I intentionally writing this since it is my beginning to learn about how to do cycling correctly. Thanks to Mainsepeda.com that inspires me to learn deeper about this new sport.

Tugu Hotel – Melati Restaurant

23/12/2020 – 11:05 AM

DJ Hasebe – Welcome to My Room